Firstly I would like to thank all those who have read “When plasters don’t work” and messaged me to send their love and support to Phoebe, it really buoyed her spirits and meant a lot to both of us.
Since that last post which was only a few weeks ago, things have changed and although at first Phoebe gained a little weight, she has since lost more weight, and she really is just not coping and the anorexia is getting stronger and stronger day by day, which makes it incredibly difficult and stressful for her to even consider increasing and eating extra food.
It has now been decided that Phoebe should go to an “in-patients” unit, where she will stay until she is strong enough and is out of danger, a place where she will have the support and professional help she needs. This decision is, if we are both honest is not a complete surprise, but even so when we were told it was like a punch in the stomach. We know that this is and will be the best thing for her, that this is what is needed in order to get better … to beat this utterly vile illness and become Phoebe again , the beautifully spirited, funny, clever girl she is. Even though I know all this .. that this is a complex & difficult illness, one which no-one could have predicted, I still feel that I have failed her as I am unable to help her when she needs me the most.
Unfortunately there are no in-patient units in Herefordshire, Gloucestershire or Worcestershire. Birmingham is the nearest unit, although it isn’t necessarily the one she will go to, at the moment we are waiting to be informed that there is a vacancy .. somewhere. She is currently in hospital on bed rest. Although she is nervous about being away from home and the people who love her she knows this will be a positive step in her recovery.
As I said in the previous post I have NO doubt that Phoebe will beat this, that although at the moment things feel and seem dark for her there will be light and once she starts fighting the anorexia she will become stronger. I know that in her chosen career of nutrition and sports she will use this experience to her advantage, she will have more knowledge and understanding of how this illness works and how to help others. This anorexia will not define or restrain her it will make her stronger, more determined & very successful, she will have a fulfilling, fun, adventurous life full of love.
So as my brave girl continues to fight, I am filled with such love, pride and admiration.