Its funny this confidence thing .. some people seem to have it in bucket loads .. whereas as others have none of it.  Where does it come from and how do you get it or become it?

When it comes down to it, its a belief in yourself and why shouldn’t we believe in ourselves?  Why do we let what others think of us or more importantly what we perceive others to think of us get in the way of how we are, how we feel?

I am not the most confident person, I do have good days where I think I am a good mum, I look pretty ok for an old bird & I am good at my job! but mostly I don’t think that.  I question my ability as a mum .. have I done enough for them/do I do enough for them, are they happy.  I look at myself in the mirror and I see all the lumps and bumps all the bits that I feel are “wrong” with me.

But maybe its time for a change, maybe I should start believing my abilities as a mum. I have made big decisions, moving back to England after living abroad for 9 years, which has been the best thing I have done (for all of us), know that I am doing a good job .. yes there are up days and down days (they are teenagers after all).

Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing (what I consider) my “bad” bits … I will look and see a positive .. my hair (i’m not horrendously grey .. I don’t dye it yet), how good I look in that particular outfit or that my skin looks good.  At work I will give suggestions instead of being quiet, I will be a voice in the office.

I only started this blog a couple of months ago (after a long time of just thinking about it), but this is another bit of confidence that I never knew I had ..

I am going to be kinder to myself, look at myself with new eyes not punish myself for things that are only in my head.. I am going to be a confident woman who absolutely believes in herself.

I am blooming.

Niki xx